


fragile: please, handle with care

by firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Friends Are The Family We Choose, Friendship, Hoseok Is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Poetry, Romance, Self Confidence Issues, Slam Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-13 15:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7981219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin/pseuds/firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hoseok's just a boy in love. | Series of short stories (in poetry form) about love, hope and friendship. Can be read linearly or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. from spring to winter (i'm in love with you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok's just a boy in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been through a bit of shit recently and I wanted to distract myself a little. fragile is the result.  
>  ~~I may or not may keep updating it randomly when I feel like it, but that's just a detail~~

Hoseok doesn't know  
when it starts  
because he wasn't  
paying attention

What he knows  
though  
is that his hands  
are cold  
and his knees  
feel like jelly 

What he knows  
is that his heart  
makes a funny sound  
just like  
_thump-thump_  
thump-thump  
thump.

He fell in love  
during spring  
when the flowers  
blossoming  
reminded him  
of the crowns  
Kihyun likes to use  
when he's feeling  
like it

He fell in love  
when Kihyun's smile  
lit up  
his whole day  
like sunshine  
through his window

He fell in love  
when Kihyun's voice  
warmed up his inside  
and made life  
feel a little less  
cold.

He fell through love  
during summer  
because the sun  
made him think  
about Kihyun's eyes  
and the curve  
of his cheekbones

He fell through love  
when the relief  
of wind blowing  
onto his face  
was like Kihyun's arms  
surrounding him  
whole  
after  
a bad day 

He fell through love  
specially when  
Kihyun's fingers  
felt soft  
under his hands  
and Kihyun's cheeks  
got tainted red  
after Hoseok  
pressed his lips  
against them  
Hoping  
to show him  
everything  
without needing  
to use  
his voice.

He fell in love  
deep  
deep in love  
when autumn came  
and Kihyun's hair  
was colored  
like leaves  
and Kihyun's smile  
was easy  
and bright  
and Kihyun's lips  
were soft  
against his mouth  
tasting like  
candies  
and care  
and  
making Hoseok  
feel alive.

And Hoseok  
stays in love  
during winter  
when the wind  
blows cold  
and love itself  
makes him ache  
inside  
and Kihyun's heart  
against his  
makes the funny sound  
_thump-thump_  
thump-thump  
thump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) \o c:


	2. hold me now (i think i'm falling)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kihyun won't let him down.

Hoseok's never been  
the type of guy  
to cry  
in front of people  
And Kihyun's never been  
the type of guy  
to let go  
when he notices  
something's wrong. 

So when Hoseok smiles  
just a little  
just a soft  
movement of lips  
turning upwards  
and that smile  
doesn't reach  
his eyes  
Kihyun holds him  
_close_  
and closer  
and closer  
and runs a hand  
through his boyfriend's hair  
promising in a low tone  
full of love  
full of care  
that he's not  
going anywhere.

Hoseok's never been  
the type of guy  
to cry  
when he could  
swallow down  
the anger (the pain)  
and blow it off  
somewhere else  
But Kihyun's never been  
the type of guy  
to just shrug it off  
when he wants  
nothing but help.

So when Hoseok's anger boils  
inside his veins  
and pain shots up  
from his spine  
Kihyun kisses him  
repeatedly  
carefully  
and  
lovingly  
and doesn't let go  
until Hoseok's whimpering  
against his lips  
and holding him  
for dear life.

And Kihyun holds him back  
when Hoseok cries  
and sobs  
against his chest  
Kihyun sings  
old lullabies  
to soothe his demons  
and holds him  
_close_  
and closer  
and closer.


	3. breathe in, breathe out (i got you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok's just a boy hoping to have a friend.

Hoseok's head  
is a confusing place  
full of fear  
and self-hatred  
and he wishes  
he could  
for only a moment  
forget about it  
without needing  
to shut down  
to the whole world.

It starts  
before middle school  
when jokes about  
his bad temper  
start to make  
his heart ache  
and when his mother  
gives him a disappointed glance  
for he fails the test  
he studied the whole night for.

It gets worse  
with puberty  
because there's only  
so much  
that sleep can do  
to stop hormones  
and anxiety  
and when he tries  
to ask out  
a girl he thinks  
is pretty  
she laughs on his  
face  
and he starts  
getting called  
a freak.

(it gets worse  
and worse  
and he doesn't know  
how to stop it)

But then  
Jooheon comes  
along  
with his  
full-time  
smiles  
and his  
childish laugh  
and he turns into  
a shoulder  
to lean on.

And it's not like  
he makes the problems  
disappear  
or Hoseok's fear  
end  
but he _does_  
help him.

And when Hoseok's crying  
non-stop  
for he failed  
his major tests  
once again  
Jooheon's not afraid  
of holding him  
close  
Jooheon's not ashamed  
of patting him  
on his back  
with sweet nothings  
leaving his mouth  
and his fingers  
curled up  
on Hoseok's hair.

"It'll get better"  
he promises  
softly  
so softly  
"Everything  
will get better"

And so  
Hoseok breathes.


	4. today i felt (alive)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are the good days.

There's a lump  
on Hoseok's throat  
and his eyes  
feel warm  
but his face  
hurts  
from smiling  
too hard  
and his stomach  
aches  
for laughing  
non-stop. 

It's a happiness  
that he can't quite  
put into words  
It's a comfort  
that he doesn't know  
how to explain  
and Kihyun's  
laughing  
and Jooheon's dimples  
are showing off  
and Hyunwoo's arms  
surround Minhyuk  
while the boy hides  
his face  
on his boyfriend's  
chest. 

But all of them  
are happy  
and Hoseok's chest  
feels too full  
and his mind's singing

_family_  
family  
family 

while his heart  
mumbles  
quietly  
so quietly

_alive_  
alive  
(you are)  
alive 


	5. all stars are dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And there are the bad days.

**anxiety**  
too loud  
too loud  
and inside his _head_  
crawling  
crawling  
and it'll leave him _dead_

 **depression**  
falling  
falling  
he can't see in the _dark_  
surrounding him whole  
because he's barely a _spark_

**fear**  
trembling  
trembling  
and it's such a _shame_  
he screams and he burns  
and he feels like a _flame_

_(he's crumbling down to ashes and no one seems to care)_


	6. but they still shine in the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And something in-between.

"Kihyun?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I feel like I'm dying"  
... "Where are you?"

"I don't know  
Under my bed?  
It's all dark here"

"Don't hang up  
Please, don't hang up"

"Not doing that  
I feel funny"

"Hoseok?"  
"... Yeah?"  
"Did you take something?"

"No  
I just feel funny"

"I'm almost there  
Don't hang up"

"Kihyun?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I miss you"

_I saw you yesterday_  
_Oh god_  
_I saw you yesterday_

"My chest hurts"  
"Remember to breath"  
"I'm breathing"

_No you're not_

"I'm coming"  
"Don't be late  
Don't leave me"  
"I'm not leaving you"

_I won't ever leave you_

_(Kihyun's arms are warm and his breath's comforting and Hoseok feels like crying)_


	7. (this is not) the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok doesn't know where they're heading to, and neither does Kihyun. Somehow, none of them cares.

"Hoseok?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Where are we going?"  
"I don't know  
Do you?"  
"No"

_As long as I'm with you  
I don't care where we go_

"Do you mind?"  
"Nope"  
"It's alright?"  
"Yeah"

And the best part  
is that he's not  
lying

Everything's alright  
as it always  
should've been.

_(there's nothing wrong with being fragile) ___


End file.
